baik ibadahnya, kami sudah senang.” Begitulah nurani kebanyakan orangtua. Tiada pamrih apa pun pada masa depan buah hatinya. Harapannya dalam mengasuh adalah yang terbaik dunia akhirat untuk anak, tapi apakah kebaikan tersebut menjelma menjadi sosok anak-anak yang sesuai harapan?
Anak Tak Sesuai Harapan
Entah termasuk bagian dari tanda-tanda akhir zaman atau tidak, tapi kita bisa melihat betapa banyak anak yang sudah akil baligh, semakin dewasa bukannya meringankan orangtua, malah menjadi beban berkepanjangan.Sepertinya bukan hal yang sulit menemukan remaja kini yang tidak hormat dan mudah memerintah orangtua, bermental rapuh dan kekanak-kanakan, berperilaku keras, pemarah, bahkan ketika sudah menikah masih butuhbantuan orangtua. Padahal, orangtua akan semakin menua. Kemampuannya dalam memenuhi kebutuhan anak tak lagi sekuat dulu.
Keikhlasan orangtua dalam memberikan apa pun yang anak butuhkan, bukan saja akan memperburuk kualitas kepribadian anak, tapi juga bisa menjadi bumerang bagi orangtua. Mengasuh dengan ikhlas bukan berarti memanjakan atau membebaskan anak berbuat semuanya, memaklumi dan selalu membela perilaku menyimpangnya, atau ketika dewasa anak boleh memilih jalan hidup sesukanya. Karena nanti kita akan ditanya,sudah sesuai dengan aturan Allah dan Rasul-Nya-kah kita memperlakukan amanah-Nya ini?
Awalnya, Mengabaikan Shalat
Konsultan keluarga samara, Dr H Ade Purnama, MA, mengindikasikan bahwa fenomena anak-anak yang rapuh ini sebetulnya bermula dari kesalahan orangtua dalam mengemban amanah atau mendidik. Dalam ajaran Islam, anak-anak sudah diperintahkan untuk shalat sejak usia 7 tahun. Itu artinya, sebelum 7 tahun dia sudah diajari tentang shalat. “Jika usia 5-6 tahun anak belajar shalat, masuk usia 7 tahun dia sudah bisa diajak shalat, ke masjid sudah tidak harus disuruh. Jadi tahapannya, usia 5-6 tahun diajari, 7 tahun disuruh, 8-9 tahunsosialisasi, 10 tahun sudah wajib shalat,” jelas Ketua Ikatan Dai Indonesia (IKADI) Jakarta Utara ini.
Shalat, imbuh Ade, adalah pendidikan dasar sejak awal. Ini menunjukkan pendidikan tentang mental spiritual. Jauh sebelum anak diajari tentang ilmu pengetahuan dalam pengertian sains, ternyata mental spiritual itu sudah ditanamkan sebelum 7 tahun. Jika ini dipraktikkan, tidak akan ada generasi yang rapuh mentalnya. Tidak akan ada anak-anak yang secara usia sudah besar, tapi secara mental kekanak-kanakan. Kenapa? “Karena pendidikan shalat sebagai cermin pendidikan spiritual itu sudah tertanam bahkan sebelum 7 tahun. Usia 10 tahun dia sudah dewasa secara ruhiyah. Kalau sudah dewasa secara ruhiyah, berikutnya tinggal diajari hal-hal yang berkaitan dengan aqliyah,
pengetahuan ilmiah,” tegasnya. Itulah jawaban mengapa banyak anak rapuh secara mental.
Islam menjadikan shalat sebagai barometer pendidikan mental seseorang. Tidak aneh ketika Umar ra ingin mengangkat seorang gubernur, beliau akan selalu menanyakan bagaimana shalat berjamaahnya si Fulan. Jika bagus, barulah dilantik. Ketika sahabat bertanya apa hubungan antara shalat dan jabatan gubernur? Beliau menjelaskan, “Shalat itu amanah Allah, kalau amanah Allah dia jaga, amanah manusia akan dia jaga. Kalau amanah Allah sudah diabaikan, apalagi amanah yang lain.
Secara fitrah, manusia harus memenuhi tiga aspek kebutuhan dasarnya, yaitu ruhiyah, jasadiyah, dan aqliyah. Jika kebutuhan jasadiyah terpenuhi dengan sandang-pangan-papan, dan aqliyah terpenuhi dengan pendidikan formal dan nonformal, maka ruhiyah hanya bisa dipenuhi dengan ibadah dan dzikrullah. Inilah yang berperan dalam pengendalian diri seseorang sehingga melahirkan kematangan jiwa dan kedewasaan, walaupun ia tidak berpendidikan tinggi.
Ketika Anak Mengecewakan
Penelitian membuktikan bahwa kerusakan perilaku yang terjadi pada anak, banyak disebabkan oleh tidak harmonisnya hubungan orangtua dan anak. Jika di satu sisi banyak orangtua yang permisif pada anak, di sisi lain banyak pula orangtua yang otoriter, kurang bisa mendengarkan aspirasi dan memaafkan kesalahan anak. Orangtua mudah emosi dan menyalahkan anak ketika ada hal yang tidak sesuai dengan kehendaknya.
Emosi yang kerap menghiasi pola asuh kepada anak, menurut Ade, menunjukkan belum ada kesadaran dan keikhlasan di hati orangtua dalam melaksanakan perintah Allah itu. Manusia mana pun tak pernah lepas dari salah, apalagi seorang anak. Maka ketika mendapati kesalahan dari seorang anak, orangtua selayaknya selalu melapangkan dada untuk memberi maaf. Sikap keras dan kasar malah akan menjadikan anak menjadi lebih kasar seperti yang ia lihat dari orangtuanya.
Tapi, tambah Ade, kita harus membedakan antara memaafkan dengan tidak membiarkan kesalahan. Ketika anak melakukan kesalahan, jelas harus dimaafkan. Tidak harus selalu dihukum, tapi tunjukkan kesalahannya. “Orangtua yang lebih banyak memaafkan anak dan meluruskan kesalahannya lebih baik daripada yang banyak menghukum tapi tidak pernah mengingatkan kesalahan,” jelas dosen di beberapa kampus ini.
Lalu sampai kapan orangtua wajib mengingatkan dan mengarahkan anaknya? “Sampai menikahkan anaknya, orangtua tidak wajib lagi mendidik anaknya, baik laki-laki maupun perempuan. Ketika seorang anak lelakimenikah, dia jadi pemimpin; ketika anak perempuan menikah, dia dipimpin oleh suaminya.”
Namun tentu saja nasihat dan arahan orangtua sampai kapan pun tetap penting bagi hidup seorang anak. Hanya posisinya, ketika si anak sudah menikah, nasihat orangtua lebih kepada nasihat seorang Muslim kepada saudaranya.
Karenanya, jangan tinggalkan anak yang lemah di belakang kita. Asah kemampuan mengemban amanah Allah semaksimal mungkin agar anak betul-betul bisa menjadi investasi masa depan orangtuanya.
Sumber : tausiah-islamiah.blogspot.com
10 Easy Steps to Succeed in Your Online Classes
Congratulations Youve made up our minds to pursue your upper schooling, and doing so online is how to pass if you have an interest in a versatile, studentcentered educating manner. Studying online permits you to pursue different pursuits and attend to different responsibilities whilst nonetheless operating your method towards some extent. However, it will now and again imply that its clean to get distracted. Here are 10 clean steps to verify luck on your online categories.
- Connect together with your instructors once conceivable. Even in case you are doing smartly within the category, its extraordinarily vital to increase a rapport together with your trainer. When you do that early on, you temporarily understand what the priorities are within the route, what expectancies the professor has of you and youre going to be motivated to prevail, surer of whats forward and higher ready to do smartly with the impending subject material.
Valuable questions to invite your trainer come with the next
How versatile are you with time limits How versatile are you with grownup freshmen What applied sciences do you employ within the route How to be had are you through e mail and different sorts of verbal exchange How do you put up an internet neighborhood and what are the expectancies for participation in it In addition, since instructors are to be had to lend a hand all over the classes, its all the time just right to have had private touch with the trainer early on. This method, when you wish to have lend a hand, its more straightforward to achieve out and get the help you wish to have.
- Confirm the technical necessities of the route. Online categories can also be very advisable for college kids with busy schedules, however provided that they are able to simply get right of entry to the fabrics. It is vital to obviously perceive what the technical necessities are. So, ahead of the route begins or as quickly thereafter as conceivable, youll want to test that your pc will paintings with the entire online equipment, and that you understand how to navigate them. This will be sure that you dont must spend time all the way through the route attempting to determine the generation.
three. Create a time table and stick with it. Quality online instructors create classes which might be clean to navigate and feature transparent expectancies. Having that roughly easytodealwith framework in position will make learning and succeeding that a lot more straightforward. However, although the framework and necessities of your category arent as transparent, youll create a time table and construction, which is able to very much fortify your probabilities of luck within the route. Using equipment equivalent to Google Calendar is a good way to start out. Knowing how your weeks and months glance and scheduling blocks of analysis time for each and every activity or module will will let you stick with a time table.
four. Ask questionsall the time. When you dont perceive, ask questions. When you do perceive, ask additional questions. Instructors recognize scholars who take part, and if theres a participation or dialogue part a part of the grade, then asking high quality questions is helping guarantee your grade on this space. Even if there isnt a participation part, its all the time helpful to invite inquiries to remember to perceive the fabric and are transparent on what is needed of you.
five. Be arrangedand keep arranged. Students whore taking conventional, campusbased classes most often have a constant time table to observe each and every week, through which study room instruction is adopted through assignments out of doors the category. However, for online classes, scholars will have to search out their very own techniques to stick on most sensible in their paintings. It is crucial that you just be arranged from the start of the semester with the intention to achieve success in an internet route. For instance mark task due dates on your calendar, discover a submitting machine for each online subject material and bodily subject material that is helping you stay monitor of the whole lot simply, and shed light on find out about schedules that duvet sections of the route one by one so youve got an arranged tactic to protecting the semesters subject material as you pass alongside.
- Have a blank, quiet, and constant workspace. One factor online and inclass classes have in not unusual is that scholars all the time want a spot to review or whole assignments this is blank, quiet, and constant. You can select the place that is for youwhether or not its at a espresso store, a college library, a devoted place of business, or at house. Wherever you select to review and whole assignments, you must make it a constant location that doesnt have out of doors distractions. It is basically key that where is quiet and lets you focal point in your paintings with out distractions.
- Do no longer procrastinate. Successful distance freshmen hardly procrastinate. They dont do away with assignments or wait till the final second to write down their papers. Successful online scholars experience freedoms that come with operating at their very own tempo and the facility to finish their paintings in as a lot time because it takes them. On the opposite hand, they know that finishing their assignments is best performed early and on time cramming merely doesnt paintings, and it doesnt will let you retain knowledge longterm. Get began early on getting a success.
eight. Work in your studying comprehension. Successful distance freshmen generally tend to have just right studying comprehension abilities. Most conventional, campusbased scholars concentrate to lectures and take notes, and a few online classes additionally require this. However, the vast majority of distance freshmen are anticipated to grasp subject material thru a large amount of studying. Although far finding out classes be offering video recordings and audio clips, maximum systems require scholars to hide and grasp a considerable amount of written knowledge. If it is a problem for you, it could be very useful to first sign up in a studying comprehension route there are lots of assets online that will help you do that. This ability by myself could make a huge distinction on your luck.
nine. Establish and admire routines that be just right for you. If, for instance, youre employed best within the morning or in brief bursts, then set find out about routines that can help you find out about within the prelunch hours when your mind is contemporary. If, then again, you do best through learning at evening or at the weekends when youll devote nightowl hours or longer blocks in your learning, then make it some degree to take action. Consider how and whilst you paintings best, and enforce a find out about plan that respects the routines that be just right for you.
- Connect together with your friends. Establishing sturdy connections with friends and professors is a very powerful facet of tutorial luck, in addition to skilled development. One of essentially the most rewarding reports in schooling is finding out thru collaboration. Forming significant relationships together with your friends and professors can can help you be told extra, keep motivated, and feature an outlet to specific your personal working out of subject material. So, keep attached thru message forums, chat rooms, e mail, and different digital assets. And take note lots of the other people you meet in faculty shall be conceivable process assets down the road so determine connections and keep in contact
Florida National University gives a wealth of tutorial and professional online classes. Check out the entire choicesyour long run is ready
